WANT TO KNOW ‘WHO AM I’? TRY THIS……

Please do one little experiment. Close your eyes and sit silently and peacefully i.e. without any thought, for a moment. You will observe that, in that moment, when you are totally silent and peaceful within, you feel as if you are expanding, as if your body is not able to contain you. You feel, as if you are not in your body but you are spread all over the place.  As opposed to this, in the moment when you are full of thoughts, meaning you are disturbed within because thought is a disturbance, you feel as if you are shrinking, you feel constricted within and you feel limited to this body. 

Why such opposite feelings of expansion and constriction? This is for the reason that in the moment when you were silent and peaceful within, when there wasn’t any disturbance or input from outside, you existed in your original nature i.e. you existed as pure energy or consciousness. Energy is integral to you and hence the feeling of expansion because expansion is the nature of energy. Energy is oneness and hence cannot be contained in a vessel like this body. Energy is the reality of this existence and that’s why this universe is known as Brahamand, the word comes from Braham, meaning, that which is expanding. Thus, existing silently; existing peacefully, existing without thoughts is existing in oneness, is existing with this universe or Brahamand and hence the feeling of expansion. 

On the other hand, mind or thought is a disturbance because mind is not integral to you. Mind is not your original nature. Mind is acquired and mind functions in a set pattern like a software and thus makes you limited. Mind is nothing but thoughts. Mind exists in and by thoughts only. Thoughts are about others. Mind, divides. Mind, splits. Mind, thus, is not oneness but duality. One thing which we need to understand is that consciousness and mind are two sides of the same coin. One side is stillness or silence and the other side is mind or disturbance. Thus, mind when stilled becomes consciousness and same consciousness when disturbed becomes mind. A thought is a movement in the consciousness. Consciousness is like a pool of still water and mind is like waves in that water. Thus, when consciousness is disturbed by the movement, it loses its originality; it loses its limitlessness and instead becomes a limited entity in the form of a mind. Mind, makes the consciousness constipated and hence the feeling of constriction or shrinking within. For example, when you are angry, sad or depressed you feel as if you are shrinking because these emotions are different states of the mind. On the other hand, when you are joyful, you feel as if you are expanding because being joyful is a no-mind state. You can be joyful only when there are no thoughts.     

We, thus, are unable to experience our original nature, which is consciousness, simply because all the time we are living in our acquired nature i.e. in the mind and not in our original nature. Hence, in order to experience your original nature, you just need to do one thing i.e. stop living in your acquired nature, I mean, stop living in thoughts and instead start living in your inherent nature which is consciousness. When you are peaceful and silent within you exist as pure energy; you exist as limitless and boundless which is existing in your nature or in your svabhava. On the other hand, if you are in mind or thoughts then you are not in your nature. Mind means vibhava because mind is a deviation from your svabhava. In mind, you exist as a limited being. 

Hence practice silence. In fact, all the spiritual practices (sadhana), are structured around one basic aspect i.e. how to become more and more silent and still within so as to give you a taste of no-mind or stillness because you can experience your original nature only when you lose your mind. No-mind is a state of consciousness, a state of bliss, a state of expansion. Meditation too is nothing but practicing silence. Becoming silent means, slowly and slowly, you are moving closer to the reality; moving closer to your nature because consciousness, which is your nature, is pure silence; pure stillness; just presence, just being. Silence means dropping your mind and remaining established in consciousness. The day you become totally silent i.e. undisturbed within then this energy cannot be contained by this body and it will merge and disappear in its Source which is what liberation or mukti is. 

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